5th Form | Video/Action

[slightoverkill]

 [If you happen to be around the fountain in the morning, you will witness a curious sight: A shirtless young man, clearly in his late teens, halfway comfortably sprawled inside the fountain, wet and not particularly caring about it. Right after he dropped there, one might find him with a journal on his face, which he stares at for a long, long time before finally deigning to pull it off his face and reveal features that might be familiar to some of the inhabitants of the village. Very, very familiar.

Mihawk is back, and even though it seems like he only got a shave, he's in truth a couple decades younger than he was when he was taken last week. Approach with caution, he has no filters. Which is demonstrated pretty easily when he finally pulls himself off the fountain - only to sit at the rim instead - and starts fiddling with the journal.

Half-lidded golden eyes stare at the camera, then.]

...well shit. That sure just happened. If there's a record for greatest hangover ever, I think I just broke it.

[He snorts, smirking. Behold the sight of Dracule Mihawk being young enough to actually emote.]

Smashed it, really. 




[ooc: replies will come from thrillthirsty and all his lineface-y glory.]

Comments

2/2

[fierybluebird]

[But incredibly irritated or not, nothing shows on Marco's face.]

Don't worry Mihawk-kun, you'll find someone some day.

[thrillthirsty]

That much is obvious.

[He arches both eyebrows.]

I mean, if even you did.

[fierybluebird]

[Eyeroll.] Even Roger and Garp did. Don't ask me how.

[Attempt to not show off how much he knows the basic who is sleeping with whom gossip = legendary failure. It hasn't even sunk in that it's only been twenty seconds. Such fail.]

[thrillthirsty]

[Judging you so hard, tbh.]

...Marco.

[Mihawk arches an eyebrow.]

You need a hobby. Desperately.

[fierybluebird]

[Okay, now it sinks in.]

I just know because Garp had offspring and the Roger thing is a long story. It's not what you think... jeez.

[But he's still blushing. Fuck you.]

I took up gardening recently. [See? Hobby!]

[thrillthirsty]

Uh huh.

[Still judging. Forever judging.]

[fierybluebird]

Stop giving me that look! Of the two of us only one of us woke up in a fountain this morning! My life is still more together than yours.

[And yet again with the comparing thing. Oops.]

[thrillthirsty]

Think about that statement for a moment and then try to tell me it's not the most depressing thing you've said all your life.

1/2

[fierybluebird]

[....]

[In which Marco pauses, thinks about his life, and the choices he's made... and falls over.]

2/2

[fierybluebird]

[And then dramatically onto his side. His voice is muffled but still there.]

The saddest part of that... that's not even the saddest thing I've said in the last two months.

I'm going to go make a blanket fort and pretend I didn't wake up this morning and have this stupid conversation.

[thrillthirsty]

Could be worse.

[Unrelenting.]

Could have your girlfriend witnessing this.

[fierybluebird]

No no, she's seen those worse things actually.

One of my little brothers dyed my hair red to look like Shanks, and she called me a slaughtered pineapple.

It's a good thing she likes sparkles.

[thrillthirsty]

You'd make a terrible Shanks. But I suppose it's great she's seen the less flattering sides of you. Which isn't hard, if she's spent more than five minutes in your presence.

[fierybluebird]

Pretty much, eh. On the bright side it means the only direction to go with her now is always going to be improvement at this point.

[thrillthirsty]

...that is the shittiest dating strategy I've ever heard of in my life.

1/3

[fierybluebird]

IT WASN'T A STRATEGY!

2/3

[fierybluebird]

[Back to the floor in a fetal position.]

I just kept fucking up and making a fool of myself and my brother had to stop me from doing even more stupid things....

[To be fair, his romance with Robin REALLY is that much of a trainwreck. Marco himself has no idea how it works.]

3/3

[fierybluebird]

[And then back up to flip Mihawk off again.]

SHUT UP! I'd like to see you do better!

[thrillthirsty]

That won't be hard, really, with how low you've set the bar.

[Pause.]

At the very least I know better than to discuss my lovelife with someone several decades younger than me.

[fierybluebird]

[Waves a hand.] Like it even matters. You'll all end up dying before me anyway. Probably of alcohol poisoning at this rate. And it's better to squick you out than have you skeeve me out, eh.

[thrillthirsty]

Your sexlife won't squick me out.

[Sharpest smirk in the history of the world.]

I'm not afraid of imaginary horrors, Marco.

I AM SORRY MIHAWK. ROXY. DON'T LOOK

[fierybluebird]

Oh, don't even make me pull out the diagrams, yoi. I have done things your chibi brain can't even conceive of.

[A grin of pure evil. Run Mihawk. Run.]

[thrillthirsty]

[He's just gonna sit here and wait. Go on. Squick him. He dares you to.]

[Locked from anyone under 18] Annnnnnd again, anyone squeamish, don't look, or look up the terms

[fierybluebird]

[He has to give this a moment. If he just starts talking about Robin and his sex life, Robin will murder him. If he talks about past flames, Robin might murder him. Tricky. All right vague-ish.]

I'm not Thatch, oh wait, you're eighteen, aye, you haven't met him yet. All right, threesomes are my limit, but I prefer to go a little more wild and experimental. Kinbaku is always fun if your partner knows enough about acupuncture points to combine pleasure and pain, though as a phoenix, I'm biased. There's also something to be said for things that are really extreme and out there, eh? Huge height differences, sex on the edge of rooftops or cliffs, extreme ice or heat -- which makes the Grand Line a little more perfect, but there are ways to make do here. Give me a woman who knows how to utilize the cowboy and waterfall positions to their fullest and I am a very happy man.

There's also something to be said for the kind of woman who's so brilliant you can't keep up. That or brilliant and murderous. Or both. I gotta have my freedom, but someone who's dominating enough to rock black leather and a corset can walk all over me in her high heels for all I care. And someone who understands the right way to use prostates and leopard print? Always a must.

Oh god and scarfs and handcuffs. Definitely.

Ironically I can't handle pink anymore without thinking Pops nurses' eh? It's actually a turn off. But someone who knows exactly what they're doing and how to do it? Fucking win. Oh and fire? You haven't lived until you understand how to make love to the flames, seduce a flower into opening for you and learned to enjoy every thorn on a rose.

Pirates always talk about booties or chests, but they're idiots. The real romance and adventure isn't in either, it's in the winding paths and happy trails to be found along the journey, and until you understand that you haven't fully lived.

Although Thatch would argue you haven't lived until you've stolen an entire line of chorus girls for a night, but I think only he and Rayleigh have ever done that, so that doesn't count.

[There's more that just... no one should say. No one.]

[ooc: And then CC died in a bright red flustered of "WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY" T_T]

[thrillthirsty]

[While Marco went on his explanation a funny thing happened.

By the time he was done, Mihawk's expression had changed. If only because his eyes were closed and he was now snoring.

To his face.

Sorry, Marco, your sex life isn't something he cares about, so he just kind of tuned you out.]